Living In Low Gear

I am sooooo bad at keeping this thing up.....and the thing is...I love to blog and read other blogs! But at times, especially lately, I feel I have nothing to contribute to the blog-reading world. Life has been a bit stagnant for me since I have graduated college. I am currently unemployed, single, and living with my parents. The one thing I owned that was truly mine (my beloved 1998 Hyundai Accent car) unfortunately met its maker last November so I have also been driving my mom's car. I feel like I own nothing in my own life. And plus, living at home means living in the middle of a small town where your high school friends have moved on to bigger and better places and your college friends live hours away, so the loneliness gets to me sometimes. Sorry, just laying it all out there -- what are personal blogs for right?

I am determined not to let the depression sink too far into my mind and heart like I let it a few years ago where it took a fair amount of counseling sessions to bring me out of it. I just wish I could clear my head of all this doubt and anxiety and feel at ease....balanced....happy. I wish I could regain an apetite for living my life. Embracing it. Loving it. Actively pursuing it and fulfilling it. Kicking it into high gear instead of settling for low gear the whole time. That's how I feel now -- puttering along with no clue as to where I am. But how do I do this? Something needs to change....I need to change. I don't know. Wow, it is late!! And I gotta get up in the morn. I promise my blogs will get better so don't count me out if this one is a downer and hopefully I can blog sooner this time than later. Take care!