You Need To Go....

This past weekend, I went to a wake. I have always felt an obligation to go to wakes, even if I only knew a surviving family member, and I now stand firm in that you should, if at all possible, attend them. I really did not know the man who died. He was the father of my uncle and I remember very little about him except a few snippets from when I was a kid. My parents debated whether we should drive the hour and a half to go but I felt that we needed to be there....and I was right. As much as I wanted to be there to pay my respects to the man who had died, I especially wanted to be there for my uncle, who just lost his father, and my aunt, who lost her father-in-law, and my younger cousins, who have lost their grandpa. It is just as important to be there for the people who are still living as it is for the person who died. And it seems I am not the only person who feels this way because after I hugged my uncle and saw his tears and felt my own tears, he said something that will always stay with me. He said "it is times like this where you find out who really loves you."

So even if you feel uncomfortable and are debating whether to make the trip.......make the trip. You have no idea how much just showing up will mean to that surviving person. And even if you can't quite find the right words to say and all that comes out is a meager "I'm sorry" and a hug, that is really all it takes. Because everything else that you may have wanted to say or that you believe should have been said is being said. It is being said by your presence there. By showing up, you are saying "I'm here because I love you and I want to help honor the life of someone you love. You are important to me and your pain and sorrow are mine as well. I will always be here for you." It doesn't need to be spoken. In fact, sometimes it is the silence and the "just knowing" that makes the bond even stronger. So just be there. You never know what an impact you may have.
Until Next Time!

Stephanie