Where Have All The Signs Gone?

It is getting nearer and nearer to the end of my first year as an event coordinator. I'm technically a graduate assistant meaning my pay is really crappy but I do get my grad school paid for. I actually really enjoy my job, am learning more and more, getting more responsibility, and love the people I work with. The bad news is that this position is not a summer position, so from May 18th to August 31st, I am unemployed and am not taking any classes. So from going to being really really busy to having nothing......is going to be a change and it's making me a little nervous. I have some summer plans including a couple weddings, two small road trips, my birthday (23!), a concert, etc. But I really do not like the prospect of being unemployed -- I feel so....unaccomplished...lazy...bored. And I like having a schedule. I'm not the free-spirited person that I wish I was (I'm so envious of you people) who can get up with no particular plans and have the best day. My internship and job searches have yielded nothing so far but now that my graduate class is over as of this week, I can devote more time to it.

I do have enough money saved up to get by for the next three months, but somehow I want this summer to be different. I recently read a book called "When They Were 22...." It is a collection of very short biographies (a page or two) about famous people (singers, authors, actors, Noble Prize Winners) and how their life changed when they were 22. I feel as if this job and other factors in my life have changed me in the past year -- I feel older, more independent, and growing into my own. Not saying I still have a lot to learn and a lot to experience. But I feel like this summer should be different. I'm hoping for a sign because my future seems so unclear right now -- but maybe I need the break from the university (among other things......) to stretch myself a bit. Sometimes I feel like my life is too small..........like the town I grew up in....